The 10 Commandments of Highly-Impactful Leadership Pt. 03
This is part 3 of a 3 part series. Here is the link for Part 1, and Part 2 of these commandments if you aren’t caught up yet.
This methodology changed my life and leadership from the inside, out. I highly suggest that you read them with the same intensity and deeply consider that this methodology could do the same for you.
be in question, doubt your doubts
The understanding of the human condition gives us the opportunity to question our current behaviors and therefore, transform the ones that are preventing us from being who we want to be.
To be in question means to question yourself. There are two ways we can do that, though. We can question ourselves from a place of insecurity or a place of curiosity. If we allow ourselves to get curious about the things that are not working, rather than insecure, we approach the world with a sense of confidence and evolution, rather than, “the world keeps breaking me apart.” Make sense?
Questioning the things that aren’t working also means questioning the stories you tell yourself that are not truth. The “I’m not good enough’s”, the “I am unloved.”
Do this and watch your life change, I dare you.
strong sense of values
I have never met a leader without a strong sense of values.
A strong sense of values manages indecision, doubt, and insecurities. They give you a sense of clarity that create space for action, the key to success in any endeavor.
Let’s say your values are : connection, loyalty, and respect.
The predicament: Your significant other is emotionally abusing you. You feel a lack of connection, so you feel tempted to fight back with similar “medicine”. This situation is draining you.
A follower (of the basic human default) in this situation would give the parter a taste of his/her “own medicine”, even though they knew this is not how they want to be in the relationship. Our default response is to blame “it” on the other person for doing “it” in the first place, when we’re the ones pouring gas on the fire.
A leader would look at their values side by side with the situation and adjust their behavior to make positive change. They would see that they value loyalty, and know they need to set boundaries to manage their energy. They refuse to sacrifice their integrity to be “right”.
We sacrifice who want to be because giving into defaults is easier than the alternative.
Action Item: Identify your values. Understand where and when you’re out of integrity with them.
Ask yourself… What can you do in this instance to create positive or proactive change?
proactivity
Let me lay out a few facts for you…
You have choice in how you respond to your circumstances.
You are responsible for the quality of your life. If you can choose to be miserable, you can also choose to not be miserable.
Some of you may read this and think, “duh”, but do your ACTIONS align with this? For most of us, the answer is no.
Our default is to empower negative people, negative circumstances, and negative thoughts.
We ALLOW (yes, allow) these things to run us, control our mood, and impact how we show up for others.
When you develop the skill of proactivity, all of the “problems” you face become smaller because your ability to empower the things that move you forward becomes much bigger.
If we use our awareness around our own human defaults, we will start to understand that our ability to be proactive lies within our language.
REACTIVE LANGUAGE VS. PROACTIVE LANGUAGE
REACTIVE LANGUAGE
“This sales call is not going well” really means —> I am not responsible for the direction this call goes. The future is finite.
“I have to go to work” really means —> I am not free to choose my own actions.
“If only I had more money” really means —> I fear that I won’t make enough money to get what I want.
“I can’t make it to that meeting” really means —> My “limited time” is controlling me.
“That is just the way I am” really means —> I am limited.
Ask yourself: Where in your life are you choosing to be miserable/the victim?
Where in your life are you reactive? Be specific.
PROACTIVE LANGUAGE
“I am committed to having a powerful call with this person, regardless if they buy from me or not” really means —> I am free to be okay with the unknown.
“I am making time to go work” really means —> I choose my schedule.
“I will start finding ways to make more money” really means —> I have the power to influence my income by adjusting what is not working.
“I am choosing not to go to that meeting” really means —> I am choosing how I spend my time.
“I can choose a different way to be” really means —> I am not letting my past dictate my future.
Ask yourself: How can I change my language to be more proactive?
Action Item: Pay attention to your language. Notice which language limits your expression in the world, and which language allows your expression to flourish.
With these tools, we are at cause to our circumstances.
When you are at cause to your circumstances, your life will stop running you and you will become the leader you’ve always imagined.
And that’s it, folks.
If you enjoyed this series, download my comprehensive freebie here.
Go create miracles,
Tay