My Mushroom Experience; Words on Presence, Confidence, and Expression.
I’ve been fooled.
Fooled into thinking mushrooms were unprofessional, scary, for a “certain type of person” or if I took them, inanimate objects would start talking to me.
I will be the first to admit, I was wrong.
What they actually are is a tool for radical growth, profound breakthroughs, and accelerated healing -- who knew?
Magic Mushrooms are known to decrease activity in the “Default Mode Network” which can lead to a loss of ego (the source of all problems). New areas of the brain start “talking” to each other which can lead to breakthroughs around areas of “stuckness” (These statements are heavily backed by science. See bottom of the article for more info).
You see, there is a reason some of the smartest and most successful people on the planet have used them for both personal and professional development. There is a reason cancer patients and those who struggle with depression, anxiety, and PTSD use them for healing. And there’s definitely a reason big Pharm companies don’t endorse them… because they know they work. They would no longer be able to prescribe their patients quick-fix drugs that have a mere 1/10th of the benefits that mushrooms do. The “sad” truth is the patients wouldn’t be patients anymore, because they would be cured.
But that’s a topic for another time.
Anywayyyyyssss - The past several months, I could feel that the “heavy season” I had been going through was coming to an end. I knew I was on the brink of rapid expansion, independence, and integrity.
Each time I’ve done mushrooms, I have gotten access to a deeper part of myself, life, or something I’ve been working through, the last trip being the most intense.
It was Jack and I’s last night in Tahoe, and a last-minute decision.
I set an intention for my trip (this is important, just wait): to see everything as it was and as it was not, have nothing between me and reality, and experience a deep sense of unity.
We were lying on the couch watching Blacklist when it first started hitting me.
Every cell in my body felt 5x the size, tingling and expanding, which made me quite the wiggle worm (it always feels good to stretch here). My entire body was filled with butterflies and all of my senses were enhanced to capacity.
This is relatively standard for me. The body sensations always come first. When I first had this experience though, it made me realize the extent to which I numb to my sensuality -- the core of our connection to the physical world.
Visually, everything was breathing with me and if I looked at something a certain way, slightly moving.
Internally, I was directly related to life. What I mean by this is I was liberated from any limitations that typically get in the way of experiencing life, as is (which are all created by the mind).
The most beautiful part about my experience was that I didn’t think much, and when I did, it was an observation, insight, or breakthrough.
There was truly nothing between me and my experience.
My intention, being realized.
As I’ve stated many times before, our default in life is to distort reality in a way that confirms our already existing conditioning -- rather than experiencing as it is right now, newly.
But here, I felt like a kid again. Free to be, move and express authentically, and others were free to do the same.
About an hour in, I got up and the first thing I saw was Enzo, our 3-month old Golden Retriever mix. She was hardly awake, rolling around on her bed with her legs sprawled out to either side. Without missing a beat, I laid my body next to hers -- feeling the pulsation of her heart, the sound of her breathing, and I was in the experience of being breathed by her, a sense of unity. She then rolled over and put her arms around my neck, still relatively unconscious.
My eyes immediately filled up with liquid, “Oh god, I thought. Here we go.” I smiled to myself as I sensed my default to control and then surrendered to what was about to happen. It’s like a had a control switch. I saw it show up, and I dialed it to 0.
And then it hit me -- Right now, I am in the experience of how precious life is, but outside of this experience, where and with whom am I not doing that with?
My dad (definitely more, but he showed up for me the most).
I cried more, a full-body experience.
I had a visceral understanding of the pain and burdens we hold inside of us and how we are all worthy of forgiveness when feeling that pain. No exceptions. Our clear sight is blocked by survival mechanisms, missing needs, and lack of a “better way.”
Jack came over and comforted me after going into the bathroom and having a breakthrough of his own. It wasn’t long before we went upstairs to wind down and reflect.
We talked and cried for two hours -- reflecting on the rawness and beauty of our experience that night.
Joy, presence, clarity, acceptance, confidence, equanimity, trust, and unity were filling my bones. I truly believe this is our natural state, but we’ve been conditioned otherwise.
There is always an option to live like this, liberated from the heaviness of it all, and sometimes, we just have to be woken up.
I’ve had world-shattering breakthroughs before that changed the course of my life, so please don’t think this is not possible without them, it is. It’s just another route.
If I didn’t believe this radical transformation was possible, I wouldn’t be doing the work I do -- supporting others in feeling liberated from the weight of life so they can be directly related to it and lead others from power, confidence, and equanimity.
Want to go deeper and get the breakthrough you’ve been searching for?
Enrollment for my 10-week mentorship program, the Leadership Accelerator is open.
ENDING NOTES
Shrooms are illegal and by no means do I endorse taking them. If you are 21 or over and are interested in taking them, please advise with a professional or someone who is highly-experienced. This is simply my experience.
Here are a few of the videos I watched before I did them.