How to Ask for What You Want and Why It's the Key to Your Success
Asking for what we want can be challenging, especially for those of us who are empaths.
The funny thing is, most of us are actually aware when there’s something getting in the way of asking for what we want; a limiting belief, a circumstance, an intimidating person; but we just don’t ask for it.
Why?
OUR FEAR OF ASKING HOLDS MORE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT THAN OUR NEEDS.
What we don’t realize, though, is what’s at the core of our fear towards getting what we want and the complexity of that fear.
I could give you a quick-fix solution to work through this fear, but I’m not going to do that. Getting through this may require a literal paradigm shift in how you think, so it’s important to understand the source of where this thinking comes from.
It may serve you (temporarily) to tell yourself that limiting belief isn’t true, take opposite action, or learn different ways to ask for what you want, but does that really get to the root of the problem? Probably not.
IN MOST CASES, THAT’S CALLED PUTTING ON A BANDAID.
Let me give you an example that many of you may be able to relate to. For those of you that cannot relate, please take the concept and principles of my words and apply them to your own life.
Imagine — you’re in a very committed relationship.
As a child, your parents shut down your emotions to some degree. This was traumatic for you. With that trauma, you created a story and unspoken fear that you had to stay passive to keep the “peace” and “your words don’t hold significance, so it’s better to stay silent”. These are common survival mechanisms and trauma responses.
This trauma response becomes a lens in which you see the world. Your decisions then reflect this innate response and become embedded in your personality and relationship.
The story that your "opinions don’t hold significance” prevents you from saying no and asking for what you want with your significant other and in your life. If you don’t disrupt these behaviors, you may feel emotionally used and abused by your partner, no matter how “perfect” they are for you.
You then blame your partner, trying to solve the problem from the outside, in and fail to realize that you created that reality on your own, not your partner.
For my visual learners, here’s a little graphic for you to visualize.
Once you look inside to that degree, we can then talk about the how and why.
“Why is asking for what I want the key to my success and how do I do that?”
The framework below will give you everything you need to know to do just that and more. It’s how I catapulted my growth, got mentors to give me overflows of free and valuable information, and how I learned to ask for what I wanted.
REMEMBER: YOUR GROWTH IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT CONTRIBUTOR TO YOUR SUCCESS.
In order to succeed; in business, in your relationships, and in your life, you have to catapult your growth if you want to catapult your success.
Choose your teachers
Since I was 14 years old, I have surrounded myself with people who were smarter, older, and more versed in their profession than I was.
I came to a crucial realization that I didn’t just want to learn from the teachers at school. I wanted to choose my teachers. I became fascinated with the people who inspired me, how they got where they were, and what I could do to get to their level of awareness, financial success, etc.
The more interested I got and the more committed I was to learning from them and their experiences, the more they taught me.
THEY WERE GIVING ME SERVICES, ADVICE, AND COACHING THAT WOULD COST OTHER’S THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
I started to ask myself, “Why me? Why are they spending hours working with me for free? Why are they answering all of my questions (no matter how frequently I ask them)?”
Because I asked for help.
So how did someone (me) who’s always had trouble taking initiative and being confrontational develop somewhat of a mastery to it?
Because I was hungry, curious, and driven.
I was committed to showing them I would implement the things they were telling me.
In turn, they believed in me and were highly-generous with their knowledge.
THE MORE KNOWLEDGE HUNGRY I GOT, THE MORE I ASKED FOR WHAT I WANTED.
And then I started to realize.. why am I only asking for what I want in one area of my life? What about my personal life? Doing so was definitely more challenging. It took effort, drive, and surrender, but I couldn’t not implement these things when I saw the transformation that was happening with my mentors and teachers.
AND WHEN I DID, MY WHOLE WORLD CHANGED.
At the beginning of the year, I had no website, no specific direction, no idea how to copy write, edit my website, create graphics, run a business, how to trust someone, how to be vulnerable in my intimate relationships, and more. Now… I do. All because I created an environment that set me up for immense and deep fulfillment and success.
You could have this too, but you have to be hungry. You have to put what you want over your fear, say yes to the things that are scary and exciting, be extremely invested in developing your knowledge, and learn from those who are smarter, older, and better at what you do than you.
Do it once.
Do it twice.
Do it three times.
THE OPPORTUNITIES, KNOWLEDGE, TRANSFORMATION, AND SUCCESS WILL COME.
Quarantine regards,
Tay Lauren