The Real Reason Why You Need to Speak Your Mind

 

I used to be an angry person.

At the time, I had no idea where it was coming from. There was a part of me that was scared to listen to what was really under the distractions, numbing, and suppression I was putting myself through.

I was…

  • Binge drinking 2-3 times a week

  • Looked to others as a source of validation

  • Pushed people away because I expected rejection

  • Was afraid to contribute my opinion in conversation

  • Had trouble saying no

  • Didn’t think people would like or accept who I truly was.

THESE ARE ALL FORMS OF EMOTIONAL SUPPRESSION.

As I continued to immerse myself in trauma, personal development, and leadership trainings, I started to realize my anger issues were not a coincidence or simply a part of my age range/gender/hormones. It was the result of built-up suppression.

Suppression shows up when we..

  1. Don’t say the things we really want to say

  2. Don’t do the things we really want to do

  3. Avoid what we need to feel through distraction or numbing.

    These things may seem minor in the big scheme of things, but BOY, do they have a big impact when they accumulate.

It’s important to understand that the impact of your suppression may show up differently than mine did. The things you suppress may be small, or big.

It is completely subjective to YOU.

You may numb and not feel anything even though you want to. You may get overwhelmingly sad/frustrated/angry. You may use emotion as a way to numb reality.

Even though this shows up differently for everyone, we can still use the same concepts to foster deep transformation in ourselves, our lives, and our leadership.

When I truly understood these tools I’m about to give you, I stopped being angry, I stopped not saying the things I wanted to say (for the most part), I stopped relying on others for validation, I stopped drinking and smoking to numb, and most importantly, I started living the life I was born to live.

This blog is going to teach you how the IMPACT of emotional suppression on your physical/mental health and the importance of FEELING so you can say what you mean, speak authentically, and stop letting your mind hold you back.

THE IMPACT

Even though suppressing your emotions may “spare” others the discomfort of “dEaLiNg WiTh yoUr fEeLiNgs”, keeping it inside can cause a lot of harm physically, as well as the anxiety/sadness that comes with suppressing certain things.

CHRONIC STRESS comes from →  UNRESOLVED EMOTIONS  which then trigger → your sympathetic nervous system’s FIGHT OR FLIGHT response (anger/numbing out, etc). This can then trigger → gas, bloating, constipation, vomiting, and ulcers, less blood flow to our brain, and headaches. 

Making an impact on the world requires understanding the impact of suppression, because no one wants to have a leader who lives in fight or flight mode, always fighting reality.

They want a leader that is free from suppression, confident, and level-headed.

THE NATURE OF SUPPRESSION

Conscious or unconscious suppression is typically a result of a story that was created from trauma.

Trauma —> Story —> Suppression —> Fight or Flight

For example, throughout my life, I’ve had many close friends/relatives pass away. From that TRAUMA, I created a STORY about myself that “people are going to leave me one way or another”, whether that’s through death, breakup, etc.

This story made me resist romantic relationships and SUPPRESSED my desire to connect with someone in that way. Every time I caught feelings, wanted to say something vulnerable, I would shut it down because in my mind, they would leave me.

When my boyfriend first asked me out, I said no (fight or flight) because of this story/fear. It took me 12 hours to realize this and change my answer, but if I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be together right now. Having the story that “he would leave me” made falling in love with him very internally difficult.

We all go through the suppression cycle, whether we like to hear that or not, so it’s important to..

CALL YOURSELF OUT

SUPPRESSION COCKBLOCKS EXPRESSION.

Your life is meant to be lived, not feared. You are here on this earth to TREAD HEAVILY, to say what you want to say, and to touch the world with your talents, purpose, and passion. If you’re reading this, I know you’re a leader that wants to impact this world with the gift you have to give, and you can’t do that if you’re holding onto the sh** that keeps you safe and comfortable.

Here’s some questions to ask yourself to remove yourself from suppression and INTO expression.

  1. In what ways do you suppress?

  2. What trauma does that suppression come from?

  3. What do you really want to say?

  4. What do you really want to do?

  5. What do you need to let go of in order to make 3/4 a REALITY?

This, for me, was the key to loving myself, pursuing my purpose, and eradicating numbing mechanisms that held me back.

This information will do the same for you if applied consistently. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Getting to the good stuff ain’t always easy, my friend, but I trust that you got this.

Quarantine Regards,

Tay Lauren

 
Tay Lauren